Banc

Un catolic, un protestant, un musulman si un evreu discutau la masa de pranz:
Catolicul: Am o avere mare… voi cumpara Citibank!
Protestantul: Sunt foarte, foarte bogat asa ca voi cumpara General Motors!
Musulmanul: Sunt print, sunt fabulos de bogat.. intentionez sa cumpar Microsoft!
Evreul a mestecat calm in cana de cafea, a asezat lingurita pe masa, a sorbit linistit din cafea, s-a uitat la ei si le-a spus pe un ton indiferent: – Nu vand !

Whocares

Raspuns pentru francezii de la Guignoles

http://www.220.ro/emisiuni-tv/Raspuns-Pentru-Francezii-De-La-Guignoles/R2B7opNydz/

Of men and women….

A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
The woman looked puzzled. “Why do you want to talk to me?” she asked.
“Because every time I talk to a woman with beautiful tits like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere”

How are men and parking spaces alike?
The good ones are always taken and the free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small.

Picture this…

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.”
The man said, “Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn’t find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died.”
St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.
He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. “Well, sir, it was awful,” said the second man. “I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!”
St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.
“Tell me about the day you died?”, he said to the third man in line.
“OK, picture this, I’m naked, hiding inside a refrigerator …”